"Help...I'm surrounded by complete idiots..."
by AniPrinzess
Summary: *****Exaggerations of the Belgariad/Mallorean characters...get ready to laugh until your face turns purple and you fall out of your seat!!!!*****
1. Pure craziness

Editor's Note:  
  
I do not own these characters, there, happy?!? I got the idea from Songwind (and Songwind if you're reading this right now, please e-mail me if you disapprove…) Please review, thanks.  
  
*****  
  
Exaggerations of the Belgariad/Mallorean characters-as told by me  
  
~~~~~  
  
Belgarath: Stands on top of mountainJumps off attempting to change into a hawk in mid-airwheee!…sorta kerplops at the bottom  
  
Poledra: Appears out of nowhere One does not think one is right in assuming the form one is in now. One believes one is of the wolves.  
  
Belgarath: …  
  
~~~~~  
  
Garion: Ce'Nedra, honey, what are you doing?  
  
Ce'Nedra: Counting moneyKinda in a dream-like stateLook here, Garion! Have you ever seen such shiney shiney things? Holds up Tolnedran coin  
  
Garion: jokingYeah, you might as well build an altar for it.  
  
Ce'Nedra: You know what? That might not be such a bad idea! Insane look on faceRuns off with coin  
  
Garion: …  
  
~~~~~  
  
Zakath:Running around with kitten in hand Want a kitten? Want a kitten? Want a kitten??  
  
Everyone in court kinda edges sloowly away  
  
Errand:Running around with Orb in hand Errand! Errand! Errand!  
  
Everyone in court skedaddling out  
  
~~~~~  
  
Polgara: Durnick, go try to find Errand, please?  
  
Durnick: Yes, dear. Sprints out the doorway  
  
5 hours later  
  
Polgara: Worried by nowGoes outside, finds Durnick by pond w/fish poleAnd what exactly are you doing? Suspicious look  
  
Durnick: all innocentlyOh, Pol!…uumm…Errand fell into the lake again and I'm trying to fish him out!  
  
Polgara: …  
  
*****  
  
So, how was it? Please review! 


	2. A second helping of loonyness

1 Ani-Yay! You love me! You really love me! You…  
  
Shadowfox-Shut up, Ani. Ooooo…it's the purple flowers of doooom…bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!  
  
Kardo-Uumm…help, I'm surrounded by idiots?!?  
  
Ani-Nnyak nyak nyak…well, heeeeere it is! The SECOND edition of "Help, I'm surrounded by complete idiots…" Isn't everyone sooo proud of me?? I'm actually updating! I'm actually…  
  
Kardo-Just get on with it Ani.  
  
Ani-nyak.  
  
*****  
  
(This is an extension to Songwind's idea…)  
  
Hot girl:randomly walks by  
  
Belgarath:Promptly changes into a wolf and starts howling  
  
Poledra:Again appears out of nowhere(how does she do that?!?)Curious, yet suspicious, lookOne wonders how such a fur-less mammal could interest one?  
  
Belgarath: Uuummm…it's a custom?  
  
Poledra: How remarkable. Then it must be respected.  
  
Belgarath:whew…  
  
~~~~~  
  
Garion:bee flying around him  
  
Barak:half a world awaysuddenly turning into bear  
  
Merel: Great, I get to sleep with Mr. Harry-*ss again.  
  
Barak: …  
  
~~~~~  
  
Hetter:whistling innocently  
  
Urgit:screaming quite loudlyWHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE?!?!?!?staring at bloody mess  
  
Hetter:kinda scoots over, turns, and bolts out doorway  
  
Urgit: …  
  
~~~~~  
  
Ce'Nedra:Freely running around nakedLet's go visit Pol now.  
  
Garion:shifting uncomfortablyUumm…shouldn't you put something on first?  
  
Ce'Nedra:blinking in confused wayWhy, whatever for?  
  
Garion: …  
  
~~~~~  
  
Poledra:staring at hot girl  
  
Belgarath:clears throat nervouslyUuhh…is there something you haven't shared with me yet?  
  
Poledra:Repeating incessantlyIt is a custom. It must be respected. It is a custom. It must be respected…  
  
Belgarath: …  
  
*****  
  
So, how was this edition? I, personally, don't favor it as much as the original one, but I guess it's okie…running out of ideas! Please review!  
  
Note: 'Shadowfox and Kardo' is actually one of my bestest friends…please check out her stories as well! 


	3. Three Kings of Insanity

Belgarath:gazing intently at Poledra  
  
Poledra:gazing right back  
  
Garion: Uummm...you guys...just thought you'd like to know...THE COTTAGE IS ON FIRE!!!!!  
  
Both:continue staring at each other  
  
Garion: ...  
  
*****  
  
Urgit: Give my thanks to Cho-Hag for killing my beloved father!  
  
Hettar:kinda scared lookUuhh...okay...  
  
Urgit:mumbling to selfOh, I need some kind of gift for him...do you think Cho'd like his skull? It's a nice enough skull, I suppose, I just gotta figure out where I threw him away...  
  
Hettar: *silence*  
  
Urgit: Huh? Where'd he go? Eeeehhhh well, guess he's decided to go lookin' for it immediately...  
  
*****  
  
Vella:Staring at BeldinI want to spend my whole life with you...FOREVER!!! BWAHAHAHAHHA...  
  
Garion:weird look on faceUumm...why?  
  
Vella:insane look on faceHE CAN FLY!!!  
  
Garion: He's a rude, ugly, bad-mouthed, drinking basta-  
  
Vella: HE CAN FLY! I WANNA FLY! PRETTY BIRDY IN THE SKY...laalalaalalaaaa...  
  
Garion: ...  
  
*****  
  
Belgarath: Silk, stop hogging all the food.  
  
Silk: But my dear Eternal Man, 'hogging' is such a horrible-sounding word...'devouring with grace' has a much nicer ring to it, do you not agree?  
  
Belgarath: ...  
  
*****  
  
Garion: Heellooo...?  
  
silence  
  
Garion: Aldur's on fire?  
  
silence  
  
Garion: The prophecies are on fire!  
  
silence  
  
Garion: BELGARATH THE WHOLE FREAKIN VALE IS ON FIRE!!!  
  
Belgarath: Aargh! My tower! runs off  
  
Poledra: Men!!  
  
(This was Songwind's idea, thx Songwind! *hugz*)  
  
*****  
  
How was this edition? As you can see, my chapters have been kinda lacking off...due to lack of ideas. I would love your feedback, though. If you have any ideas, please review and maybe I'll write something based on your light bulb.  
  
P.S. Also, don't worry about plagerism...if you have an idea, share it and I will be sure to give you credit. I am a very honest person. Serious. Shadowfox- Oh, REALLY? Ani-shut up. 0;) 


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